Monday, January 28, 2008

As I take my final bow

I think that since this is Bush's final State of the Union speech (Gosh, has it been 7 years already?), it seems appropriate that I offer my running commentary.

Liveblogging the State of the Union

7:24 -- Pre-Game Warm-Up
Tonight, I expect a great deal of focus on how a $600 Band-Aid can fix a multi-billion dollar hemorrhage. In addition, I expect to hear a lot about how al Qaeda is "on the run" because "the surge is working" while the fact that al Qaeda was not active in Iraq pre-invasion will be a topic sidestepped entirely. I also look forward to hearing that "surrender is not an option."

And since it is his last SOTU, I just hope to hear "God" or "the Almighty" a few times, for old time's sake.

We shall soon see.

7:59 -- Network of choice: CNN HD

8:01 -- According to Wolf Blitzer, the Secretary of the Interior is tonight's chosen "football carrier," which means he is the cabinet guy who is not present at the address tonight, since the entire line of succession cannot be present at the same time in the same place. So if the Capitol is destroyed tonight, say hello to President Dirk Kempthorne.

8:05 -- Here he comes. This is like a classic Brainerd High School pep fest. Totally super-awesome! And his tie is Warrior blue.

8:09 -- I hope that when my approval rating is in the low 30s, I can get two standing ovations before even saying anything.

8:13 -- I think that Nancy Pelosi is trying to chew her own lips off. I don't know what this means, but she looked a little frightening there.

8:14 -- "The IRS accepts both checks and money orders." A cute joke to mask the misleading use of the word "average" in the phrase "taxes will go up by an average of . . ."

8:17 -- Nancy also seems to be scooting closer and closer to Dick. A scandal in the making.

8:20 -- "No one can deny the results" of No Child Left Behind. That is for damn sure, but I think we mean different things. Worst law ever.

8:23 -- For some reason I hate the way Bush says the word "a" as a long a sound. "I thank the Congress for making AY good agreement with Peru." Who talks like that?

8:25 -- What ever happened to that hydrogen car he talked about a few years ago?

8:26 -- Woohoo! Nuc-u-lar! And did he just say "greenhouse gases"? And "global climate change"? He believes in these? What a sellout.

8:29 -- "All life must be treated with the dignity it deserves." Oh George. You are so funny when you use irony that way.

8:31 -- I'm sorry, but "armies of compassion" is a vile phrase.

8:32 -- Ted is trying read ahead to see how it ends.

8:34 -- Catch and release? Did he just compare illegal immigrants to walleye?

8:36 -- "Evil men who despise freedom" -- At least he does not oversimplify the enemy.

8:39 -- Here it comes . . . here it comes . . . The surge has worked! The surge has worked! Oh me of little faith. I should have trusted him all along.

8:44 -- He said it: "al Qaeda is on the run in Iraq." I knew he would. Now if only he would mention any of the original reasons we went to Iraq in the first place. Hmm . . .

8:47 -- OK, there is clearly no Nancy-Dick scandal. I think Dick is thinking, "Who is this bitch and what is this tingling I feel? I must end her."

8:50 -- I love it when he gets the full both-sides-of-the-aisle ovation, like when he goes out on a limb and says something bold and visionary, such as "We must defeat the terrorists."

8:52 -- Sweet! We are going to war with Iran, too!

8:56 -- "America opposes genocide in Sudan." Those are pretty words.

8:58 -- OK, I will be the first to give Bush credit here. He actually has done a lot to help fight malaria and AIDS in Africa. Good work.

9:02 -- It's over. All in all, I would say it was an okay speech. Nothing groundbreaking, nothing surprising. A few good phrases, a few glossed over issues, etc.

9:04 -- I hate some things about TV news. The first thing the CNN reporter said when the speech was over had nothing to do with the speech, but instead was about how Hillary and Barack had not shaken hands even though they were sitting near each other. Give me a fucking break.


At 10:46 PM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

I've always wondered if the VP/Speaker chug a red bull or something. If there is one place that it probably isn't proper to yawn, those two seats would be it.

At 11:14 PM, Blogger Jason posited...

I wonder if the guy actually carries a football around all night. Like a symbol of America.

At 12:00 AM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

I'm pretty sure the football is a term for the briefcase that contains all the nuclear weapons codes.

At 1:19 AM, Blogger constant_k posited...

I am a little confused: the commentator people were talking about how this is Ws "7th and final" SotU. Isn't he President for all 8 years? Doesn't the President have to deliver a SotU every year?

It is also possible that I misheard them.

At 5:59 AM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

The first speech of a president's term is not officially called the State of the Union, but is rather an outline of the president's goals, such as when when Bush gave his address in 2001 or when Clinton gave his in 1993. Because they had only been president for a couple of weeks, the speeches were not official SOTU addresses. So Bush has given 8 addresses to Congress, but only 7 are official SOTU.

Now you know . . .

At 9:03 AM, Blogger Kid C posited...

"Catch and release? Did he just compare illegal immigrants to walleye?"

Best laugh I'd gotten in some time :)

At 10:27 AM, Blogger Tom posited...

I bet George is a fun guy to hang out with. How can you hate a guy for being a little silly and a little dumb? He truly has got a great sense of humor. Agreed, he wasn't the best thing for the country/world over the past 7 years, but come on... I can only attribute this unbridled hate for him that I see all around me to immaturity and... really, a sort of mob mentality. And just to be clear, John, I know that if you've got any real hate for him, it is quite bridled, I wouldn't lump you in with these dumb kids and crazy professors.

hehe. my word verification has "bj" in it...

At 8:27 PM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

"How can you hate a guy for being a little silly and a little dumb?"

I don't hate him for being silly and dumb. I do hate the fact that we have a president that is silly and dumb, however.

And while I do not have unbridled hatred for him as a person, I do have semi-unbridled hatred for the way he has conducted his presidency.

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Tom posited...

makes sense to me. that's a reasonable reaction. the people who i actually believe would string him up and kill him if they got hold of him with a group of their crazed compadres are the people who freak me out.

At 5:13 PM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

Well, I see the same thing you do Tom. Of course, college campuses are a bit predisposed to such a mentality. The only other President that I can remember clearly is Clinton, and about all I can say there is that I didn't agree with many of his policies and that he had the personal maturity of a 14-year old quite often. But hate? No.

At 6:05 PM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

Many, many, many Republicans hated Clinton the same way.
And many more hate Hillary the same way.

At 1:10 AM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

Oh, I'm sure. In fact, I guarentee I know some of them. I just don't have it in me to hate a guy who is so obviously juvenile. Clinton may be brilliant and a great politican, but I wouldn't trust the guy as far as my niece could throw him.

As far as Hillary goes, well, I still am not going to go quite as far as to hate her, because it's not worth the effort. I'll save such exertions for a, um, journalist such as Michael Moore. Or Kim Jong Il and his government.


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