Thursday, October 06, 2005

Who'll stop the rain?

A Story

One day, I was sitting at home and some guy drove a bulldozer through my house. I was a little mad, but I assumed he might have a good reason.

"Hey," I asked. "Why did you knock down my house?"

He responded, "We had reason to believe that your house was on a toxic landfill."

"But it isn't," I said.

"Yes, we know that now. But we wanted to be sure. Better safe than sorry!"

And then it started to rain. The guy with the bulldozer ran over to me and held an umbrella over my head.

I said, "Thanks, but you know, I wish you hadn't knocked my house down."

He responded, "But if I weren't holding this umbrella, you would get wet."

"Yes, I know, and I am grateful for the umbrella. But you still should not have knocked my house down."

"Listen, you can't tell me you would be better off if I were not holding this umbrella!"

"True, but if I had my house back, you wouldn't need to be holding an umbrella at all."

"So you would rather get wet than have me hold this umbrella? Is that what you're saying."

And so I continued ad infinitum in this logic loop. And then my neighbor's house collapsed in on itself. It turns out it was built on a toxic landfill.

9 Comments:

At 11:53 PM, Blogger Johnny V posited...

I feel kind of stupid for asking, but what does that story mean...

What am I saying? When have I ever felt bad for asking a stupid question? Never. I do it all the time.

With conviction. WHAT DOES THIS STORY MEAN, MR. WANNINGER?

 
At 2:05 AM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

I don't know if I want to answer, but oh well. I guess I wanted it to be obscure for a day or so.

I was inspired by watching George Bush's speech today. I was getting frustrated by the circular logic:
"Mr. President, what do you say to to the idea that Iraq is only a hotbed of terrorism because we invaded?"
"Well, we can't pull out now, or terrorists like Zarqawi will take over Iraq."
"But the terrorists weren't in Iraq until we invaded."
"Iraq is a hotbed of terrorism. We can't leave now."
etc.

It loses a lot in translation, and I admit it was an amateurish analogy/parable. But his speech today made me mad, so I wrote a stupid thing.

It didn't work. I'm a failure. What an idiot! I think I'll run for president.

 
At 3:37 AM, Blogger matt posited...

once explained, i thought it made sense and had i seen the speech, i may have made the connection but being that i would rather gouge my eyes out than listen to dubya talk, i missed it

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger Kid C posited...

I figured it had to do something with a Bush criticism, likely on the war. Why else would it appear on this blog?

 
At 8:35 AM, Blogger chris posited...

I thought it was splendid. Totally awesome.


but then I only say that because I could never write something that cool. I'm just an english-wannabe

 
At 9:31 AM, Anonymous katja posited...

I thougt it had a good point... Something about the government and how when they try to help, it´s too little, too late, or in the wrong area all together.... I watched a little of GWs speech, but it was all translated into Spanish, so I didn´t experience the satisfaction/disgust of him making a fool out of himself(rather I felt ashamed that he´s the president of MY country, as he makes ME look like an idiot)... All I can say, is that he looks like an even bigger ass over here, especially when one thinks about other problems that America´s time and energy could go into. Such as helping out in Burkino Faso, where there´s no water etc. Or giving a damn about what happened with Hurrican Stan in Central America. You know, simple stuff like that.... then again, America is helping. It´s holding up the "umbrella" to protect people in this world from the terrorist network.

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger Manda posited...

I love how Derby says he's an English wanna-be and then doesn't capitalize English.

(And no, this isn't a knock against Derby I just find it...(I want to say ironic but IS it ironic!?!?)

 
At 2:22 AM, Blogger Johnny V posited...

I like how the Bush administration is represented by a retarded guy driving a big bulldozer.

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger Houley posited...

You didn't even understand that when you read it though...

It wasn't even that hard, guys. I got everything up to the neighbor's house. Is this some way of saying [Iran, North Korea, insert country here] have the WMDs?

Splendid.

 

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