Like peas in a pod

Last year, I wrote about turning 33 and that age 33 is called one's "Jesus Year," since Jesus died at age 33. Now, on my last day of being 33, I am grateful that I did not die (barring any unforeseen mishaps or accidental crucifixions between now and midnight).

But I thought it would be appropriate to compare some of the things Jesus did at age 33 with the things I did.

Jesus vs. Me

• At age 33, Jesus healed the blind man Bartimaeus.
• I helped a friend get a speck of hair out of his eye.

• At age 33, Mary, the sister of Lazarus, anointed Jesus with perfume and wiped his feet with her hair.
• I went to a bar where some chick spilled beer on my shoes.

• At age 33, Jesus blessed the little children.
• I blessed the little children . . . with knowledge. (This moment brought to you by Sylvan.)

• At age 33, Jesus cursed a fig tree.
• I ate a Fig Newton.

• At age 33, Jesus gathered his twelve disciples at the Last Supper and told them to carry on his teachings.
• I had supper with twelve English grad students, and we also talked about teaching.

• At age 33, Jesus was betrayed by his friend Judas.
• I was betrayed by Rob Halford, lead singer of Judas Priest. (And let me tell you, he's got another thing comin'.)
  

• At age 33, Jesus was charged with blasphemy by the high priest Caiaphas and sentenced to death by Pontius Pilate.
• This also happened to me, but thankfully Illinois has a moratorium on the death penalty.

• At age 33 Jesus was brutally crucified, with metal spikes through his hands and feet.
• I had a pretty bad hangnail.

It's a tie.