Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Your burqa is very beautiful

I have not had any Overheard in New York fun for a while:

Hobo: Do you have a dollar?
Suit: Yes.
Hobo: May I have it?
Suit: Shouldn't you do a trick first?
Hobo: Fucker, I don't even own pants! You want me to dance for that shit?

--49th Street station

Quasi-thug #1: So if I got the first season, you would watch it with me?
Quasi-thug #2: Fuck yeah. It's the fucking Golden Girls, yo.

--Port Authority

Preteen girl #1: Hey, so they finally showed us how to draw different shapes. I can finally do clovers.
Preteen girl #2: You fucking bitch, you never showed me how to draw hearts.

--UA Sheepshead Bay

Drunk girl #1 coughs.
Drunk girl #2: If you vomit, I swear to God this friendship is over.

--Bleecker St

Guy: Did you hear back from the modeling agency?
Girl: Yeah, it was Foot Fetish Palace. I have to call them back.
Guy: Oh my god you're in porn?! This is why we're friends.

--20th between 8th & 9th

Teen girl #1: I am so in the mood to get drunk tonight...
Teen girl #2: Yea! Tonight is such a good drunk night.
Teen girl #1: I can't wait to be drunk!
Teen girl #2: I can't wait to be stupid!
Teen boy: You guys say that every night. And have I gotten into either of your pants? No.

--Penn Station

Older woman: Excuse me, miss?
Younger woman: Yeah?
Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn't know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors.
Younger woman: It's not a burqa, it's a poncho. I'm Jewish. It's for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx.

--53rd & 7th


At 3:08 PM, Blogger Tom posited...

they got better and better as i read.

At 6:51 PM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

Thanks for noticing, Tom. I was trying to build to some kind of climax in my arrangement.

At 1:10 AM, Blogger Tay posited...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 1:13 AM, Blogger Tay posited...

k, let's try this again:

i thought the poncho one was definately the best. i just liked the touch about the tj maxx, trying to make the old lady feel better. at least we are trying to be a little more culturally sensative, even if we can't tell the difference between a poncho and a burqa

At 1:26 AM, Blogger Tay posited...

oh man, i just checked this site out... it is awesome. i have to add a couple though that i almost wet myself reading:

Woman: Who do you think would win a fight between Ann Coulter and Maureen Dowd?
Man: A fight?
Woman: Yeah, you know, a death match.
Man: I'm gonna go with Ann Coulter.
Woman: You think? They both wear long, spikey heels. They could put each other's eyes out pretty fast.
Man: But Ann Coulter would be like, "Rock on, I'm in a death cage!" And Maureen Dowd would be like, "Wait, what am I doing in a death cage?"

Girl #1: Ben's hot, but I think he's gay.
Girl #2: No way. Why?
Girl #1: He asked me if my carpet matches my drapes.
Girl #2: I don't think he's gay.
Girl #1: Oh yeah?
Girl #2: Call him up and tell him he can chew on your carpet!
Girl #1: What?

and one of the best lines i've ever heard:
Guy #2: I'll hit it and help her get her papers if she doesn't have them. I'm all for amnesty in the name of getting laid.

At 1:27 AM, Blogger Tay posited...

p.s. ann coulter would win, hands down

At 7:50 AM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

It is much easier to win a fight when you are 100% pure evil, especially if that evil resides in a mind incapable of rational thought.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

Dub, don't insult Al Franken that way. It's not nice.

At 11:55 PM, Blogger Tom posited...



Post a Comment

<< Home