Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Don't mess with Texas

I think the president might have a warped sense of the role of Texas in the linguistic history of American English. Consider the following examples:

I was the guy that said they [the U.N.] ought to vote. And one country voted -- at least showed their cards, I believe. It's an old Texas expression, show your cards, when you're playing poker. France showed their cards.

-- G.W.B., Lajes, Azores, Mar. 16, 2003

An old Texas expression? Hmm. I can see how he might think this -- Old West, cowboys, etc. That one was not so bad.

First thing that Medicare has done is it says that if you're -- when you join Medicare, you get preventative screenings. Put in Texas terms, in order to solve something, you got to diagnose it.

-- G.W.B., Atlanta, Georgia, Jul. 22, 2005

Texas invented this idea. Good to know.

But my favorite is this one, which he said last week:

Let me put it to you in Texan. If Al Qaeda is calling into the United States, we want to know.

-- G.W.B., Nashville, Tennessee, Feb. 1, 2006

Which part of that sentence is Texan? Please help me.


At 12:28 PM, Blogger Houley posited...

While governor, he changed the official language of Texas to Texan, which is the exact same as English except for the exclusion of words over three syllables.

At 3:42 PM, Blogger mayah posited...

oh zing!

At 5:26 PM, Blogger Johnny V posited...

"Preventative" is pushing it a little too far...

At 10:02 PM, Blogger Houley posited...

Exactly. He had to translate "preventative" into Texan.

At 3:09 AM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

Every part is Texan. The English language is derived from the language of Texan, which predated Latin and Greek by centuries after an alien race of wool chaps landed in their spacecraft and thereby permanently altered the destiny of the White Southerner race.

At 7:14 AM, Anonymous katja posited...

"If Al Quida is calling into the United States..." Help! I don't understand what he's trying to say. Is he really speaking english??

Wait, now I understand. It's Texan.

But I thought the official language of America is English, so isn't the President suppose to be competent(sp?) in English?

silly me.

At 8:21 AM, Blogger Kid C posited...

The official language in America is American. Common knowledge.

At 10:03 AM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

Parker -- is it a race of wool chaps, or aliens wearing wool chaps?

At 12:49 PM, Blogger Houley posited...

Well, the president knows enough English to get by. He just likes to translate sometimes for his fans back home.

At 9:01 PM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

I meant sentient wool chaps. Like talking wool chaps.

It was 3+ in the morning what can I say.

"If Al Quida is calling into the United States..."

Kayla, what President Bush was referring to was the calls the NSA were tapping that were made by known Al Queda members in foreign countries who were calling people here in the US.


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