I want to ride it where I like

Here is an exciting big-city event that I witnessed while walking around yesterday:

The first thing you need to know is that in big cities, bike riders are crazy; they weave in and out of traffic, fly through stoplights, and zip in front of buses.
So I was wandering up Milwaukee Avenue in Wicker Park when I heard a scraping noise from the street. I turned to look, and I saw a bicyclist stopping his bike and swearing. He looked down at his tire, which was flat, and he started swearing even more. I looked back about ten feet and saw an SUV that had been attempting to pull in to a parking spot. I quickly figured out that the truck's bumper had bumped or scraped the bike's back tire.

Now it is important to reiterate that the bike was not damaged except for the flat tire, and the rider was absolutely unharmed.

At this point, the cyclist turns to the driver of the SUV, who was a 20-something blonde woman, and starts screaming obscenities at her.

And then he picks up his bicycle and throws it at her car.

Of course, she starts yelling at him to stop, and he is yelling at her and calling her foul names. I see her get on her cell phone to call the police, and the guy picks up his bike and starts slamming it full force down on her hood. He is denting the shit out of the SUV and also messing up his bike. The whole time he is yelling at her, "You're buying me a new tire, you stupid bitch!" and other such clever witticisms. He has created huge dents, including one that looks like someone has dropped a bowling ball on her hood.

At this point the woman is crying hysterically, and the man is angry because now his bike is all bent up from banging it against the SUV. So he decides to straighten out his now bent-up wheel by whacking it against the side of her vehicle. He does this for a little while, then he rides off on his flat-tired bike.

The cops arrive, and I get to give a corroborating witness statement. Fun in the city, indeed!