Mayberry and malt liquor
I visited the amazing online Death Predictor to find out how I will die. Just to be safe, I ran it a few different times. I have between 9 and 52 years left.
- John: At age 63 you will be hunted by a strange apparition resembling Andy Griffith, and subsequently commit suicide after the stress proves to be too much.
- John: At age 85 you will be hit by a train while napping on the railroad tracks.
- John: At age 82 you will start sleeping more and more. After six months of this you will be sleeping 19 hours a day. By month seven, you do not wake up anymore. You cease breathing during month nine.
- John: At age 42 you will fall into a tank at a large aquarium and be eaten by suckerfish.
- John: At age 48 you will die while partaking in a particularly intense meditation session.
- John: At age 50 a meteorite will strike you as you are walking to the gas station to buy a 40oz bottle of King Cobra.
offered up to the world by CoachDub @ 8:46 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
At age 41 I will die while pouring a 40oz bottle of King Cobra onto the curb for my fallen homie, JDub. You might think that chance and fate would intersect to bring about my death by meteor, but coincidences of that sort only happen in movies. In reality, I will be beaten to death by a hobo, who "really could use that malt liquor, man."
"Tom: At age 25 aliens will abduct you and use your body for sick and often anally-oriented experiments before dropping you off outside of a local homeless shelter smelling of beer."
ok... but how will i die?...
Are you sure you did not accidentally visit the Fun Adventures You'll Have in Your Life Predictor instead of the Death Predictor?
haha. yeah.
That is hilarious. But...just to be safe...I'd stay away from suckerfish if I were you.
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