How'd they swim that far?

When I don't have a post of my own, Overheard in New York comes to the rescue.

Girl: Did you hear that one?
Friend: Nope.
Girl: Do I have to blow my ass out on your face for you to hear my farts?

--New York Botanical Garden, the Bronx

Spanish girl: Why are there so many Mexicans in Minnesota? Isn't that really far north?
Spanish boy: I don't know...
Spanish girl: I mean, how'd they swim that far?

--23rd & Lex

3-Year-Old boy, putting both hands on butt of woman in front of him: Mooove!
Pushed woman: You shouldn't let your boy do that.
Mother: What do you expect him to do? He's got a big ass in his face!

--59th & Lex

Woman #1: They confiscated my fluorescent light because they said it was a fire hazard.
Woman #2: Oh yeah?
Woman #1: Yeah...They should have been there when I set my mother on fire.

--Target, Erskine St, Brooklyn

Girl: I really wish we had stayed. I totally would have waited in the rain and gotten wet for Beyoncé.
Guy: I didn't know you were into chicks.
Girl: Wet from the rain, you jackass.

--Times Square

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I also ran across these delightful plush toys: