The Oscar Party

5:33 - One hour until the guests arrive for the big Oscar party.

• The apartment is clean
• The ballots are ready
• My world famous hummus has never been better
• My homemade salsa is fiery
• The beer is cold

More to come . . .

7:09 - Jon Stewart is doing a pretty good job. His comments about Capote revealing the truth that not all gay people are virile cowboys was good. As was his joke about Bjork being shot by Dick Cheney.

The montage of gay westerns -- classic. "Suppose if I tangled with him, I'd have to take you on too?"

7:16 - First award: Best Supporting Actor.
And the winner is . . . George Clooney. I'm 1/1 so far.

7:27 - Ben Stiller is creeping me out.

7:29 - Visual Effects - And the winner is: King Kong. 2/2
7:32 - Animated Feature - And the winner is: Wallace and Gromit - 3/3.
(Those guys win for best bow ties.)
I did not see Corpse Bride, but I loved Wallace and Gromit, so I happy about this one.

I'm still going to be mad if Crash pulls an upset.

7:44 - Live Action Short - And the winner is: Six Shooter. 4/4
Wow, I guess on that one, but I am winning so far.

7:46 - Short Animated - And the winner is: The Moon and the Sun. 5/5

7:50 - Costume - And the winner is: Memoirs of a Geisha. 6/6
6 for 6?!?! Too bad I'm just a trendy film non-buff.

7:58 - Steve Carell can say more with the batting of his false eyelashes than most actors can with a soliloquy.
7:58 - Makeup - And the winner is: Narnia. 7/7


One of the rules of the Oscar Drinking Game -- Did I forget to mention this was a drinking game? I know I'm too old for this, but hey, I'm back in college! -- is that everyone has to take a drink whenever someone onscreen mentions something political. I suppose with Jon Stewart hosting, that was a bit foolish.


8:04 - Best Supporting Actress - And the winner is: Rachel Weisz. 8/8
Damn, I'm good.

8:17 - The "political ads" for best actress are the highlight of the night so far. "A bunch of letters that make no sense."

8:19 - Documentary Short - I predict my first lost coming up. I picked A Note of Triumph . . .
8:20 - And the winner is . . . A Note of Triumph.
I'd like to thank Miss Cleo for helping me with this pick. 9/9

8:22 - Documentary Feature - And the winner is: March of the Penguins. 10/10

8:32 - A Speed reunion! There is a god. Forget all that stuff I had previously said about great films and such. Pulp Fiction? Puh. Speed 3, with original cast? Please, God, make it so.

8:34 - Art Direction - And the winner is: Memoirs of a Geisha. 11/11

This has been a very boring stretch.

8:50 - Original Score - And the winner is: Brokeback Mountain. 12/12
I am glad this one won. I loved the music in The Constant Gardener and Munich, but in Brokeback, I think the music was a memorable conduit for the emotions onscreen.

9:00 - Jon Stewart: "I can't wait for Oscar's 'Salute to Montages.'" Good stuff.

9:02 - Sound Mixing - And the winner is: King Kong. 13/13

9:11 - Robert Altman -- genius. If you have not seen The Player, please see it soon. But if you want to hate Andie MacDowell even more, watch Short Cuts.

9:19 - I am so excited for "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." It might send Lauren Bacall over the edge.

9:23 - Original Song - And the winner is: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp." 14/14
Good stuff.

9:28 - Sound Editing - And the winner is: King Kong. 15/15
I'll lose a category eventually. I just know it.


The Salute to Dead People Section: Take a drink every time they show someone you've never heard of . . .

9:40 - Foreign Language Film - And the winner is: Tsotsi. 16/16

"Martin Scorsese: Zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia: One."

9:42 - Film Editing - And the winner is: Crash. 17/17

9:47: - Actor in a Leading Role - (They're already doing this award?!?! Crazy.) And the winner is: Philip Seymour Hoffman. 18/18
Thank goodness. All hats off to Heath Ledger, but as I have written, Hoffman transcends all levels of genius in Capote.

9:56 - Cinematography - And the winner is: Memoirs of a Geisha. Crap, I lost one! 18/19
This one is a bit of a surprise. I thought Brokeback had this one locked. Hmm.

10:00 - Actress in a Leading Role - And the winner is: Reese Witherspoon. 19/20
I like it. As I said, I didn't see Transamerica, but I loved Reese in Walk the Line.

Now I really liked Reese's speech, but what the hell was going on with her left eyebrow. She may have been having a stroke.

10:10 - Adapted Screenplay - And the winner is: Brokeback Mountain. 20/21
I'm happy about this one, too. Although I am still nervous about Best Picture.

10:14 - Original Screenplay - And the winner is: Crash. 21/22
I'm fine with this, but clearly Syriana was the best screenplay. But oh well, I picked Crash, nonetheless.

10:20 - Best Director - And the winner is: Ang Lee. 22/23
Excellent. As you know, I loved Capote, but this was Ang Lee's award to win.

And finally,
10:23 - Best Picture - And the winner is: Crash. What the fuck? 22/24
That pisses me off. I loved Crash, but it was just not of the same caliber as the other nominees, especially Capote and Brokeback.

I am not happy right now.

But I got 22 out of 24 categories right. 92%. Pretty good.

I'm still pissed though.


PS. Thanks to my friends Adam, Angela, Bonnie, Jill, and Kathleen for joining me for the fun.