Flattened Out

I had every intention of blogging my reviews of the new albums by both Broken Social Scene and The National today. But I can't. And when I say "I can't," I don't mean "I'm not feeling up to it" or "I'm just not ready to review these albums yet." Nope, I truly can't. You see, I threw out my back today, and while I have had some back troubles before, today's episode is the worst back-wrenching of my life.

I think it must have started this weekend when I went to school and spent hours (14 hours) grading writing portfolios. This week is the last week of school, so I have a lot of grading. But I decided that I wanted to get these portfolios done so this week I can just grade finals and be done. Also, I wanted to go out to the monthly Britpop night on Saturday and needed a giant chunk of grading done so I could dance with a clear conscience.

Anyway, I spent Saturday and Sunday sitting at my desk. This morning I woke up with a pretty sore back, but nothing debilitating. I had a date with a friend to go buy air conditioners today, so we did. My friend helped me carry my new AC up to my apartment, and all was well.

And then I attempted to install my AC, and there my troubles began. As I lifted the unit to the window, I felt the jolt of searing, intense pain shoot into by low back and down my leg. And then I was paralyzed. I could not stand up straight, but the AC was halfway installed, and I really thought the unit might fall out the window if I did not finish. So even though I could only stand with a 90 degree bend at the waist, I finished screwing the frame into the window and putting everything in place. I was in excruciating pain, but I got it done.

And then I basically collapsed on the floor. Lying flat on my back helped a little, but then I tried to get up. Like a pain-ridden turtle on its back, I simply could not get up. The pain was too severe. Each time I moved I felt the shooting and burning all over again. But I had to get to my kitchen where my ice pack and Vicodin live. So after at least 10 minutes of slow, gradual movement, pulling myself onto the arm of the couch, sliding to the wall for support, and a few moments when I genuinely contemplated calling the ambulance, I was standing--well, standing at a severe bend again. Yes, it took me 10 minutes to stand up.

I made it to the kitchen, got my Vicodin and ice, and went back to the living room. I've found a way to sit in my recliner that is only "What would happen if I took 6 of these pain pills?" painful, rather than "Where did I leave my shotgun?" painful, so I'm in this chair for the night.

So I can't write my album reviews because I cannot get to my computer to listen to the music and blog along. No, I can sit here and blog on my iPhone about my pain. I could probably review the albums since I've listened to them nonstop for a couple of weeks (along with LCD Soundsytem), but I owe these albums proper reviews.

So now I'm very glad I got all that grading done, since tonight I'm useless. And glad I got my air conditioner installed, though it has crippled me.