Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Third Grade Urges

When I was a little kid, my mom would often give me little scalp/head rubs, and I found such massages very relaxing and comforting.  Often I would fall asleep watching television while my mom scratched my head.  Throughout my whole life, head rubs have been a wonderful little treat.

I recently thought of this story:

One day I was sitting in my third grade classroom at Roosevelt Elementary School in Bellingham, Washington.  My teacher, Mr. Fish, was a great teacher, but I sometimes got a little bored in school.  Some days this boredom would manifest itself in excessive talking or squirrelly behavior.  But one day during math class, I was bored and all of a sudden got a craving for a head rub.  I could not shake this craving, and I think I even tried to subtly scratch/massage my own scalp.  Alas, no good.

Being a clever and resourceful little third grader, I devised a plan.  I told Mr. Fish that my head itched and that I thought I might have lice (I knew I did not have lice; it was a witty ruse/lie.) and that I needed to go to the nurse's office immediately.  Mr. Fish sent me to the office for inspection.

I told the very nice nurse (whose skilled fingers I had experienced earlier in the year during a lice scare in the classroom) that my head itched.  She asked if I thought I had lice, and I told her that I was not sure but that I needed her to check for me.  She sat me down on a stool, and great tingles of anticipation flowed through my veins.

And then she began her procedure.  With each poke and knead, all my third grade stress melted away.  Long division?  So what?  Cursive S?  Begone!  Weird girl who wants to kiss me by the squareball* court?  Puh!  None of that mattered anymore, because I was getting a head rub instead of being in class.  (* I found out that in most places, this game is called four square; we called it squareball.)

After a few minutes of heaven, the nurse told me I did not have lice and that I should go back to class.  I smiled (more broadly than she could have understood) and went back to Mr. Fish's class.  I sat down at my desk and began the work of a third grader, far more relaxed than any of my classmates.

I had blatantly lied to two adults to gratify my own urges.  And I did not feel guilty at all.


At 10:55 AM, Anonymous alan posited...

Squareball. Ha ha.

At 7:31 PM, Anonymous Your Mom posited...


At 7:54 PM, Blogger undulatingorb posited...

I am a sucker for back scratches and get them whenever I can. When I was in grade school, I had a gym teacher named Mr. Fisher. We're so alike!


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