Monday, October 24, 2005

Nylon memories

When I was in middle school and listening to Michael Jackson and New Edition, I joined the hot trend of wearing parachute pants, which were nylon, like parachute material, and often had lots of zippers. I had a pair that looked like this:


Once in 6th grade gym class, we had to run an indoor obstacle course, with ramps, cones, tunnels, pummel horses, and other such obstacle course . . . obstacles. My parachute pants fell down while the entire class was looking on. I had to finish the obstacle course holding them up with one hand, and all the other students were laughing. So I looked to the gym teacher for support, and he was rolling around on the floor, laughing harder than anyone. I was mortified.

And that is what led me to kill a guy.

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In other news:

Two things in this world really piss me off:
  1. People who don't use the "cart corral" at the grocery store, and instead just leave their carts in the middle of the parking lot
  2. Nickelback

21 Comments:

At 1:43 PM, Blogger mayah posited...

that is an excellent "most embarassing moment" story... i have zero that don't involve alcohol, because i repress them. consistently and completely.
and i think god has punished us with nickelback. what could we have done to deserve them?

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Josh posited...

At least you didn't have to listen to them every day in Mr. Hewitt's class

 
At 4:13 PM, Blogger Hillstorm posited...

I remember you telling the class that story. Good times.

 
At 5:28 PM, Blogger aa posited...

i think hewitt ruined a lot of music last year. cuz now whenever i hear that stupid los lonely boys "how far is heaven" and any evenescence song i think of hewitt, and pretty sure that is kind of scary for me.

 
At 6:12 PM, Blogger Tom posited...

heres the thing. those songs already sucked. i think its funny how hewitt is this guy whos supposed to be all into poetry and the music he listens to is the most uninspired, unartistic, lame-ass music ever written (besides country music). maybe listening to pop rock makes him feel like he has hair. ok, considering that i dont really dislike the guy, that was a little uncalled for...

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger Jake posited...

Things that are impossible to do:

1. Eat 7 Saltines in one minute

2. Drink a gallon of milk in one hour

3. Illustrate any salient difference, musical or otherwise, between Nickelback, Staind, Linkin Park, and Puddle Of Mudd

See? It just can't be done.

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger Vinnie-Senza posited...

I agree jake. Although, Im pretty sure if it was choloate milk, I could drink the whole gallon. Not saying that I wouldn't be a little sick afterwards, but it totally could be done. But the other two, well that's just silly.

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger mayah posited...

no, i had to listen to avril, macy gray, evanescence, and more avril. maybe some alanis? am i lying?

and i forgot about puddle of mudd. hahahahhah how did they get famous?

 
At 10:19 PM, Blogger Tom posited...

yeah. didnt they have a popular song called "smack my ass" or something???? my god.

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger Johnny V posited...

Josh Holbrook ate 7 saltines in a minute. Take that everyone's beliefs. That means Nickelback could be unique. I'm also pretty sure that someone could drink a gallon of milk in an hour. In fact, we are going to do that this weekend.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

"Eat" means not washed down, so no liquids either.
But more importantly, by "eat" it means ALL of it has to be ingested, including all of the cracker scrapings on his teeth. Did he do that?

 
At 9:19 AM, Blogger Tom posited...

yeah really. anyone can cram 7 in there. its the corralling and swallowing of the grout-like cracker substance that is difficult.

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger Kid C posited...

Tom, I believe the song was called "Control," it just had a line about "I like the way you smack my ass / I like the dirty things you do." BTW, your comment on Hewitt's music taste was arguably the funniest comment ever.

Jake, I'm not saying that all the bands you listed don't suck eggs, but only Linkin Park has rap, so there is a "salient difference." I've done the impossible. Certainly not the first time.

 
At 1:06 PM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

Man Dub, Amen to the Cart Corral observation from someone who worked at Cub the summer before sr. year. Those ppl suck.

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger P "N" K posited...

And btw not only did I receive the ending dose of Avril from the Hewitt, I also received a full on collision named Sheryl Crow. It was damaging and painful.

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger pkizzle posited...

What's with all the negativity? Just because those bands are famous doesn't mean they aren't good.

 
At 4:03 PM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

And just because they ARE famous doesn't mean they are good. Milli Vanilli was famous.

I don't hate Nickelback because they are famous. I hate their music. I hate their ideas. I hate their songs. I hate their poseurness. I hate them.

I do like Sheryl Crow though, excpet her new song and that Kid Rock duet.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger Vinnie-Senza posited...

I liked her back in the day, think "leavin los vegas." But then she became all face-lifted and pop, just like jewel. Oh intuition.. totally should not have gone with her gut feeling on that one. Or maybe it was her "intution" not to do it, but her agent said she had to, I mean, doesn't everyone now adays have to turn skank-whore to make some moola?

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger Kid C posited...

Why I Hate Nickelback: "Figured You Out."

Listen to that song and lose whatever ounce of faith you held in Canadian music. (although having endured Avril, Loverboy, and Celine Dion, mine was basically gone. Although they did offer us Arcade Fire, my fave band of '04)

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger Kid C posited...

Nothing makes Sheryl Crow more of a skank than dating a guy who has testicular cancer. She's such a fucking whore. And that "Soak Up the Sun" video... it's right up there with "Don't Cha" and "Dirrty." Oh, and don't forget her sultry cover of "Sweet Child O' Mine." She sexed that up like she was Anna Nicole. I don't understand your point Vinnie, but you probably figured that out.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger Kid C posited...

Final thought: If Sheryl Crow was all about "sex appeal," she'd have a breast job. She's not exactly Pam Anderson. Cripes. If you want to talk about "whoring it up," talk about Michelle Branch posing for Maxim.

 

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