Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Shuba pie, indeed.

from BS News:

Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French



BATON ROUGE, LA. – The White House announced today that President Bush has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.

“This is a bold step forward for America,” said Bush. “And America will be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with French Prime Minister Jack Shiraq, who was so kind to accept my offer of Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash.”

The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild.

“Jack understands full well that this one’s a ‘fixer upper,’” said Bush. “He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water, and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they’ve got a lot of work to do. But Jack’s assured me, if it’s not right, they’re going to fix it.”

The move has been met with incredulity from the already beleaguered residents of Louisiana.

“Shuba-pie!” said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. “Frafer-perly yom kom drabby sham!”

However, President Bush’s decision has been widely lauded by Republicans.

“This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President,” said Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. “Instead of spending billions and billions, and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we’ve just made 25 million dollars in pure profit.”

“This is indeed a smart move,” commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume. “Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we’ve made money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it up, we can easily invade and take it back again.”

The money gained from 'The Louisiana Refund' is expected to be immediately pumped back into the rebuilding of Iraq.

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For some reason I cannot stop laughing whenever I read the quotation from the New Orleans resident. That, and Bush calling Jacques "Jack."

PS. Rock Star INXS tonight reaffirmed that their song "Don't Change" is one of the great songs of our time. Better with Michael Hutchence, of course, but oh well. He's dead.

10 Comments:

At 9:53 PM, Blogger Houley posited...

So where'd the picture come from?

It must be photoshopped.

 
At 9:58 PM, Blogger Johnny V posited...

The guys at BS news took a pic of Bush and "Jack" shaking hands and gave it a new background. Damn, Bush is awesome.

 
At 1:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous posited...

All that I have to say is this:
"Briliant!"

Trent Wallin

 
At 3:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous posited...

There's a lovely historical symmetry to it as Napoleon originally sold Louisiana to us in order to raise money to fight HIS foreign wars. Not sure about the INXS comment though. Next we'll be hearing that Men at Work were the greatest band ever . . .

Trevor, a museum curator in Green Bay

 
At 4:13 PM, Blogger TheHenke posited...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 5:24 PM, Blogger TheHenke posited...

Trevor, are you trying to say that Men at Work isn't the greatest band ever?? Please tell me I didn't read your comment correctly.

 
At 6:26 PM, Blogger Natasha the Liberal posited...

That is hilarious. And of course, the New Orleans resident is amusing. I also enjoy the fact that "Jacques" is spelt "Jack," the same way Bush Jr. has to say it. Brilliant article. Just brilliant!

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Tay posited...

i love satire. its just grand. although this isn't a bad idea...

 
At 7:07 PM, Blogger Tay posited...

ok for all those who may be exceptionally slow today, there is a big jk on the last sentence.

(jason, the little word thing is walloon. do you think this means something? perhaps this could be a new product for market?)

 
At 8:03 PM, Blogger Johnny V posited...

I wouldn't mind only having 49 states. But, if anything, we should sell Texas to Mexico.

 

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