The No Spin Zone

Sometimes I hear or read something on the news, and I do not know whether to laugh or be pissed.

Here is an excerpt from the September 14 broadcast of Westwood One's The Radio Factor with Bill O'Reilly:

O'REILLY: The secular progressive movement would like to have marriage abolished, in my opinion. They don't want it, because it is not diverse enough. You know, that's what this gay marriage thing is all about. But now, you know, the poly-amorphous marriage, whatever they call it, you can marry 18 people, you can marry a duck, I mean --

LIS WIEHL (co-host): A duck? Quack, quack.

O'REILLY: Well, why, you know, if you're in love with the duck, who is the society to tell you you can't do that?

He made a similar argument in the April 13 broadcast:

So this is just the beginning, ladies and gentlemen, of this crazy gay marriage insanity -- is gonna lead to all kinds of things like this. Courts are gonna be clogged. Every nut in the world is gonna -- somebody's gonna come in and say, "I wanna marry the goat." You'll see it; I guarantee you'll see it.

All right. I've seen similar arguments made by judges, by lawmakers, and by contributors to the Brainerd Dispatch's top-quality "Open Forum" -- that if gay people are allowed to marry, then we will have to legalize bestiality, pedophilia, necrophilia, etc.

I do not want to criticize another person's beliefs, but this particular line of "reasoning" makes no sense whatsoever, and anyone who buys into it is a complete fucking moron. I generally think people can believe what they want, and if you have some reason or other to oppose equal rights, then so be it. But if this particular goat & duck argument makes sense to you, it may be time to remove your feeding tube.

Thanks, Mr. O'Reilly, for confirming what we already knew about you. But on the bright side, he does make it much easier to pick out the rational Republicans from the rest.