Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Adding fuel to the fire

Here's a dream I had last night:

I had come back to BHS to teach again, but they gave me the worst classes, just to spite me. So the dream started off in the Little Theater, and most of the cast from Midsummer was there, along with Kali Gardner. Well, Kali was running the scrim, but she let go of it, and then some metal rubbed up against some other metal and made a spark and caught the scrim on fire. Then a piece of burning scrim fell to the stage, on top of the table saw (banned by OSHA, of course). This was exacerbated by the fact that for some reason we had recently poured gasoline all over the table saw. So this ignited the saw, which then ignited the curtain legs, and all of the kiddies went fleeing out of the theatre. I found the fire extinguisher and managed to put out all of the fire, only to get yelled at by Cubbie, the grumpy custodian.

So now, I was late for starting my first new class at BHS, so I ran to my classroom (which was now rearranged so that my desk and podium were behind a wall so students could not see me), but I had taken off my pants because they had caught fire back in the Little Theatre. So I was late for class, and all the kids were standing in the hallway about to leave. I yelled, "Don't leave! Get in there!" But then I realized that I was in my underwear, so I told them I would be right back. I went and put new pants on, came back, and then realized I had no idea what I was teaching.
So I looked at my schedule, and my first class was "Intro. to Law." Not my specialty. So I found the textbooks (called "Learning the Law: For Non-Law Students.") What that meant was "dumb kid law." But I had not prepared any of the first day handouts, so I told the kids to sit tight again, and ran to the office to run off my papers. I was sweating and nervous because I thought for sure I would be fired for a) burning up the theatre, and b) not being prepared for class.
So I ran off the handouts, but by the time I returned, all the students had left, and I started to prepare for my next class, "Human Anatomy for the Unmotivated Student." The books were all junked up with graffiti and rips, plus I had a box of posters of the human anatomy.

That was the end.

I think it means a few things:
  • I was spoiled by getting to teach Pre-AP English
  • Everything we ever did in the theatre was a hazard waiting to happen
  • Kali should keep away from potentially flammable materials
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PS:

13 Comments:

At 11:40 AM, Blogger Josh posited...

"Human Anatomy for the Unmotivated Student."


What if this was actually a class?

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger mayah posited...

i love everything about this dream. now when i wake up at like 8am and go back to sleep, i'll sleep for exactly 60 minutes and have a completely different dream, then another one from 9-10, etc. it's kind of ridiculous.
my most common ones, though, are about college set in bhs, with lots of sneaking around the courtyard and getting lost in the hallways and having hewitt prof every class. what would freud say?

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

Well Freud would have a heyday with a Hallways-and-Hewitt Dream.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

Josh, I think I will start that class. It will have a special unit about marijuana's effect on the reproductive system. (Huh huh... I said unit.)

 
At 11:50 AM, Blogger mayah posited...

damnit! you're right!
and i'm just catching up on your blog and i love love love the frank rich excerpt from the katrina post.

 
At 12:35 PM, Blogger Vinnie-Senza posited...

I definitely wouldn't consider "hallways-and-hewitt" a dream... more of a nightmare if you will. I mean, I am far enough away from him now, i dont want him coming back to haunt me. Although that would take effort, so i dont think he would be up to the challenge, no matter how much he dislikes me.

 
At 1:26 PM, Blogger Manda posited...

Hahahahhaha...Oh, Amazing.


P.s. Does anyone else feel stupid when they can't decipher the word verification? :(

 
At 3:31 PM, Blogger Vinnie-Senza posited...

omg, gilligan... my hero. I think he broke the mold for loveable, nerdy guys everywhere.

 
At 4:29 PM, Blogger jimaal posited...

hahahahahahahaha that's so funny i loe it so much. hahaha i burned down the theatre.. eeeee.....

doesn't josh's picture look like a fetus

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger CoachDub posited...

Yeah, good work Kali. I can't believe you would do such a thing.

 
At 7:08 PM, Blogger "Jackie" posited...

"This was exacerbated by the fact that for some reason we had recently poured gasoline all over the table saw."

hahahahahahahaha

as the word verification says right now, "Ofauk"

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger Johnny V posited...

I took that picture of Josh. For some reason, he was writhing on the floor with a guitar.

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger Tom posited...

yeah, because his face was melting. youd be writhing too.

 

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