Monday, September 17, 2007

With from whence some such

The Haiku Board, Part One

I have a somewhat strange sense of sentimental value, and so I have a tendency to hold on to relics and artifacts from my life, and some of said artifacts have moved with me to several different residences.

When I lived in Chicago the first time around, 11 years ago, I lived with my great college friend Erin. She and I, along with our friend Kathy, threw a few very memorable parties. One important aspect of our parties was always the "Haiku Board." In the kitchen (near the beer), we would always put poster board up on the wall, and the guests were under standing instructions to write haikus -- Mind you, we were only concerned about the 5-7-5 syllabication, not the whole natural world, seasons content. (By the way, we were inspired to have our haiku boards because one of our good friends, Trevor, required people to recite haikus at his wedding in order to see the bride and groom kiss.)

Anyway, needless to say, the haikus (near the beer) always got stranger and stranger as the night wore on.

And needless to say, I still have these haiku boards--important historical artifacts. Here are some highlights, written by various friends:

I don't think I should
drink tequila so often.
It tends to be bad.

I love my taco,
But burritos are good too.
Look! Some refried beans!

Butt, shit, nappy crust,
Festering sores on the eye
Piss lick cream stew pie

If you sample beer
And shake your party booty
You will be a hit

Hmm . . . there would appear
to be a whole lot of beer
where I stick my feet

Clearly look how John
Speaks volumes of sage wisdom
With from whence some such
(by Jake)

Kahuna burger,
Give me oral pleasure, Butch.
Royale with cheese, yeah.

Ham or a haiku?
I want a little of each.
Slice me a chunk o'


At 11:40 PM, Blogger sherlock posited...

Pulp Fiction may make for the strangest haiku I have ever seen.

At 12:07 AM, Anonymous Anonymous posited...

those are amazing. yes!

At 8:53 AM, Blogger Jake posited...

Yes! Finally, my haiku genius has been published.

For the record, I think that was the first time I ever drank tequila.

At 6:17 PM, Blogger undulatingorb posited...

I like the haiku board idea, but I think I like the reciting of haiku to get the bride and groom to kiss more. I'll have to think of something for my hypothetical wedding guests to recite. Either that or my husband and I will just have sex on the table whenever they annoyingly clink their glasses.

At 8:11 AM, Blogger JB posited...


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